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Hello, beautiful. Today I want to talk to you about expectations. Boy, it's hard not to have expectations, isn't it? I mean, we're givers after all, and we tend to exceed everybody's expectations with our own giving, that it can be really hard to not have expectations from the world around us, especially when it comes to our needs, because most of us have a really hard time.
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even articulating that we do have needs. But one of the biggest disappointments in our life is expecting other people to understand our needs. It's not that we shouldn't expect understanding from other people. It's that we can change how we see expectations. or being met in our needs. Oftentimes when we expect things from others, we haven't met our own.
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expectations for healing our own lives. And I think that overdoers and over givers can get really wrapped up in this. It's like a riddle because it seems that since we're so good at taking care of others, we should expect others at least once in a while to take care of us. It's still frequency.
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It's still energy, this thing that we're expecting from others. And the hard truth is we haven't done it for ourselves. It seems so noble and truly it is. You've been noble to give as much as you do and to care as much. you do and to always be serving others but the thing is is energy is very tricky like that if we always think that the energy should go to somebody else then the somebody else never comes.
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to fill our gap one of the most important things that you can learn is to really realize that you do have needs and you have to acknowledge them with yourself how do we do that we have to give ourselves some of the kindness that we expect others to be giving us this is really difficult for a lot of us we're so externally focused especially as mothers we're so externally.
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focused on the world around us, we began to forget that we even had, And so we don't really know how to give back to that inner sanctuary that heals us and knows what's best for us, which is our own relationship with creator and ourselves. Somehow, in this acknowledgement that we need to understand how to fill our own gaps is an understanding that if we can get over the overwhelm of the wanting and the desiring to be connected and to have people genuinely care about us, we can take a radical pivot and genuinely care about ourselves.
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For a moment, just take a moment. Big breath in and come back to your body with me and just start to bring. the awareness of your heart breathing you. And if you can, place both hands over your heart. How long has it been that you've listened to the needs of your own heart? I mean, truly,
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purposely place desire to understand what it is that you most need in your life. For some of you, you might have never even really had this conversation. I mean, we bellyache about our desires and we bellyache about our expectations of the world can give us or creator God, of course, creator, creator, goddess too. We get really focused on that one list without ever realizing.
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that without our participation in filling that list, we're not going to be able to do it. We're not going to be able to do it. We're not going to, Nobody's going to do it as good as we do. Nobody's going to attend to our needs with the focus and the care and the consideration like we would actually do for ourselves. There's a real wisdom in understanding that first and foremost, we have to be self-loving. And most of us have never mastered how to be self-loving, let alone self-aware enough to give to ourselves what we need.
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So as you breathe your breath of life into your body, I just beckon you and invite you to come back into the awareness of what do I need? What do I really need to give myself that I've been expecting my partner or my children or my friends? to give to me. If you can't think of anything, think of a birthday where you might have felt a little forgotten, even though people might have done something for you. Maybe you didn't feel.
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that they did enough. And really take in that resonant spirit of, well, did I even know what I needed? I mean, a lot of times we want a really neat birthday, but we don't even know what it would be that would make us really happy and special feeling that day. And so we kind of go through that day with maybe tons of little attentions from social media, or someone brings.
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us flowers, or someone surprises us with a special dinner. And I think a lot of times that can feel like enough, but then there also can be a simultaneous empty feeling. And this is what I'm talking about. It's not just the birthday. It's the celebration. It's the celebration of, birthdays. It's the everyday. day days where we realize if we just stop and wait with that feeling and really listen to your heart, just hold it. What do I need that I'm not first giving to myself? Do you need a journal like.
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people have a gratitude journal? Do you need a desire journal? Or could it be in your notes on your phone just to play? You know, when we think about manifesting, we think the thought needs to come first. And then there needs to be a feeling of that desire. And then a belief that we either already have it or that it is coming soon. It always is better to believe we already have it. But a lot of times, that's the really hard step to make. Because we don't see it, we can't feel it.
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And it's not here. So how do we actually sync up? to the belief. Well, that same belief that we're trying to create is a lot like being in sync with ourselves when we've got outside expectations of other people filling our needs when we haven't even addressed it with ourself first. We can be very persnickety in relationships, thinking our relationship isn't giving enough when we didn't even know in the first place what we really wanted.
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from them. It's so important to be a good communicator. And if you can put that at the top of your list when you're thinking about expectations, part of being a good communicator sometimes is writing it down. But most of us are too busy to journal or to even take a moment to write a list. We just think it's useless. But is it useless? I mean, one of the best ways to manifest is to write down what you want.
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over and over and over again. One of my friends, he was telling me once he was actually opened, for some famous rock bands. And I said, how did how did you go from here to there? How did you get discovered enough for your band to open for this massive band? And he said, Well, you know, it's really funny. But and this was a long time ago, because he was older than me, and I was pretty young. And he said, Well, we didn't talk about manifestation, just so you know, back then.
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it was probably in the 80s. And he said, I wrote down every day, all over everything I could, like I would take a piece of lined paper. And I'd write, I'm a famous rock star. I'm a famous rock star. I'm a famous rock star. And he was actually the boyfriend of one of my older girlfriends. And, I just remember that moment where she and I just thought, we could do and should do that in our own lives with everything.
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It was so easy, he said. He didn't really do anything else, but right, I'm a famous rock star. He didn't have any connections. He doesn't even know how it happened. The only thing that he remembers for making himself successful was that he did this action. So what would be your I'm a famous rock star mantra? Mantra, what would be the one thing that you really want to write down for yourself that would give you the thing that you really want to be, feel or imagine?
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What would be it doesn't have to be a one liner either, but I think sometimes that's a good place to start. So let's right now discover our one liner. What would be your one liner mantra? mantra that you could do over and over and over again, even if you just did it 10 times. I mean, I think this guy did a million times, but even if you just did it 10 times a night or you did it, you know, a few times a day, a few times, or you had it on your mirror. My dear friend.
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has a beautiful, she's an esthetician and she has this beautiful facial kit that she sent me as a Christmas present this year. I noticed that she had made a sticker. She had all these little details in the gift, but she had a sticker made that was like, I am beautiful. I am important and I'm loved. And I thought, wow, what simple words, but they literally made me feel different.
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And so I put the sticker next to my bed and I make sure that I say that over and over again. And it's amazing how different it makes me feel. And even the words, I don't know if I would have chosen those words, but they're so perfect. I'm beautiful. I'm important. And I'm loved. I'm beautiful. I'm important. And I'm loved. How often do we expect people to feel that we're important and that we are loved by them?
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I don't know that we ask that, do we? But we feel that we want them to place us in a position of importance in their lives to show us that we're valuable, right? Are you important in your own life? Have you told yourself you're important in your own life? Have you remembered to say, I am beautiful? Whether or not you believe it right now, do you remember to say you're valuable?
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Do you remember to say, I am loved? Probably not. I mean, some of you might be superstars and you're doing that all the time. But a lot of us don't. And we wonder why we're not getting the results from the outside world to fulfill our expectations, to show us how valuable we are. Take that time today and this week and this month. Remember, we're cleaning the palette of the colors of our lives. April is about April showers bring May flowers.
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So how can you clean your palette? How can you wash it so clean that everything that you say to yourself feels new? Get out of the old story of the old mantras. You might not realize I did say mantras, but they do become mantras, even our hateful ones, even our derogatory ones. body ones, where we tell ourselves we're not worthy, when we tell ourselves we're not good.
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enough, when we tell ourselves whatever we're not enough of, and how often we slip into that, oh, I don't know, spiral down. It's almost like a diatribe of a too quick, a default mechanism to be constantly frustrated with ourselves, how we appear that we are in the world, how we're perceived in the world, and our expectations for the world to see us in such a high and lovely.
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place, when our own dialogue has not been very good. Today, really come back to your own personal mantra. Come over to the well and share with us the mantras that you come up with, and let's borrow from me. And let's also really make sure that we remind each other. you always do, of how valuable they are. I see it so much in you, how you're always sharing how special people are, how much things mean to you. Keep that up because that is actually.
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an inner reflection of you when you can share that appreciation for others. You're also in some ways saying it to yourself. And when you speak good things to others, when you really speak good things to others, write good things to others, guess what? Your inner voice is hearing you say that. Your inner voice is hearing you write that. You're the first one that hears all your thoughts,
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feelings, and emotions. So if we have expectations for the outer world to really honor us, to love us, and to hold us in an elevated place, we have to start doing that to ourselves first, knowing always that we're not alone. We're not alone. We are not alone. the first ones to hear our thoughts and those thoughts do become our reality. And the great thing about that is we have power over that and we're choosing to take action now. So today is a.
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very visceral type of download because we're asking you to really get actionable mantras that you're going to put somewhere that means something to you that are actually going to change your life. And so today is a day of change. It's a day of healing and it's a day of renewal. I'm giving you a big hug. I'm squeezing your hands and looking at you in your eyes and I say to you, I will see you and hear you and feel you and imagine you in the well tomorrow. Have a.
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great day. I can't see, I can't wait to see what you come up with.
